I'm using a machine today to see if that takes any of the time and perilous self-enquiry out of keeping a blog. But what an embarrassment! "Check out this..." It's like a robot butler trying to high five you. And every time I close my new phone the phrase "Have a good time!" now flashes up. Thanks, phone. Actually I suppose that's quite polite. Better than "Goodbye". It might even be construed as pertinent given you're either hanging up on someone or displaying a degree of indolence so profound you can't even be bothered to continue playing Wallbreaker (yeah, it's a Wallbreaker now, not Snake): "Get off the phone! What are you thinking! Have a good time!" Okay... In that vein let's give this post another go. Take it away, generic streetbot:
Hosted By: Shunt
When: 17 Sep 2008, 19:00
Where Shunt Lounge
Joiner Street, underneath London Bridge Station
Click Here To View Event
... Well, I've clicked... Pff... It doesn't work, does it. No. Right. I'll do it. Thanks, "the system". Okay, try mm here that should hopefully take you to the event. It's all Heather's idea. She's even had badges made:
That's a kiss in the middle (I've been pushing to have assistants in black lipstick pucker up in place of a rubber stamp). I'm going to be an interrogator (again), a bad cop to Tom Lyall's good. According to the recently released 1963 KUBARK FILES the CIA called this a "Mutt-and-Jeff" technique. Which is sweet. Here's an illustration (this is real advice):
"The angry interrogator accuses the subject of other offenses, any offenses, especially those that are heinous or demeaning. He makes it plain that he personally considers the interrogatee the vilest person on earth. During the harangue the friendly, quiet interrogator breaks in to say, "Wait a minute, Jim. Take it easy." The angry interrogator shouts back, "Shut up! I'm handling this. I've broken crumb-bums before, and I'll break this one, wide open." He expresses his disgust by spitting on the floor or holding his nose or any gross gesture. Finally, red-faced and furious, he says, "I'm going to take a break, have a couple of stiff drinks. But I'll be back at two -- and you, you bum, you better be ready to talk."
I don't think I'll shout though. I'll just quietly judge people as I ask them to describe the last film they saw. I popped into the Vaults this afternoon to record some propaganda for the tannoys. "Work makes you smell" managed to sneak under the radar. And Heather told me how the Stasi used to drive around checking that everyone's aerials were pointing in the right direction. If it looked like you were trying to pick up Western television you were paid a visit.
... And I presume the same went for anyone found in possession the following images:
(Ta-daa! Heather today suggested actually using these in the interrogation - "WHO IS THIS MAN?!! HOW DO YOU KNOW HIM?!" - Great idea, yes, I will do just that.)
And my favourite...