Showing posts with label Mars. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mars. Show all posts

Tuesday, 2 March 2021

Blessed

 I've just rewatched this video to confirm that Richard Herring's interview here with Brian Blessed may be the greatest one-man show I've seen. It's a hell of an act, really – literally death-defying – and, while often threatening to disintegrate into whatever the louder version of waffle is, every unprompted digression ultimately leads to a vista. You might find yourself, like me, crying honest tears of joy several times at the beauty of the view. 
 
 
 "Exploration is not a discovery.... it is a Remembrance!"
 
 These last twelve months have proved something of a procrastinator's paradise, and I know I haven't been alone in approaching the end of the virus with some dread at the idea of being asked once again "So what's next for you?" But Brian Blessed's been training to climb Olympus Mons, which is four times the height of Everest, and on Mars. So maybe what I'll do next is fuck Death up the arse, live forever, and learn to sing like Pavarotti. Thank you, Brian, can't wait.

Friday, 26 February 2021

Martian Or Ultra-Martian? Round

    Things just seemed to be naturally heading towards a "Spot the Martian" round, I feel, so below are twenty images I found online of aliens from film and television. Can you identify the ten from Mars? For example: if I showed you the picture above, you would, of course, say "Yes, these are Martians! From the 1951 film Flight To Mars, set on Mars, which is why their helmets have holes at the front, because they live here so they can just breathe normally!" Bonus points if you can name the show or film the image is from, and additional bonus points if you just decide you deserve them, because why not? As many as you like! I'm WiIly Wonka. I'm the Childlike Empress. Infinite Wishes! Aswers will be posted as ever in the comments, where you can also tell me how many points you decided to award yourself. 
 Identify!
 
1.
 
2.
 
 
3.
 
 
4.
 
 
5.
 
 
6.
 
 
7.

 
 
8.

 
 
9.

  

10.

 

11.
 
 
12.
 
 
13.
 
 
14.
 
 
15.
 

16.
 
 
17.

 
 
18.

 
19.
 
 
20.

Monday, 22 February 2021

Hélène Smith's Ultra-Martian Insects

  "Palais martiens" (Martian palaces) by Hélène Smith
 
 This is a view of the surface of Mars, as recorded by Catherine-Elise Müllerin Martigny, a late nineteenth-century Swiss medium who claimed to have conscious recollection not only of previous lives on Earth, but of contemporary life on other planets.
 

"paysage ultramartien avec bipèdes" (Beyond-Martian countryside with bipeds)
 
 The details of her space séances – including "houses with fountains on the roof", and "carriages without horses or wheels, emitting sparks as they glide by" – were recorded by a sympathetic psychology professor from the University of Geneva called Théodore Flornoy. It was Flornoy who suggested Müller adopt the pseudo nym "Hélène Smith". They really were proper séances too: conducted around a table, and with assembled mourners, like Mme. Mirbel, whose dead son Alexis was apparently – according to Smith – now attending lectures at a Martian university. Flornoy records Alexis' newly Martian ghost berating his mother through Smith 'for not having followed the medical prescription which he gave her a month previously: "Dear mamma, have you, then, so little confidence in us ? You have no idea how much pain you have caused me !"' He does not go into detail about the argument which then breaks out between mother and son "by means of the table".

"insecte ultramartien" (Beyond-Martian insect)
 
 From India to the Planet Mars, a full tanslation of Flornoy's account of Smith's visions – including black-and-white plates of these illustrations – was posted on the ever excellent Public Domain Review blog in celebration of the latest Mars landing, which is how I know about it. Also included in the book are examples of Martian typography that Smith took down – essentially French in code, as deciphered by Flornoy:
 
 
 It reminds me of the man who claimed in an interview with Patrick Moore to be able to speak Venusian, although the latter was adamant that the process by which his particular aliens communicated was mechanical, not mental – "through rays" – and he'd never personally heard from a Martian. Nor had he ever been Marie Antionette in a previous life, now I think of it, unlike Smith. (Or if he had, it hadn't come up.)
 
"insecte ultramartien" (another insect from further away than Mars)
 
  It also reminds me of the Voynich Manuscipt, lending credence perhaps to David Reed's theory that the manuscript is just the work of a bored princess in a tower... Colour reproductions of Hélène Smith's sometimes beautiful illustrations (very popular later on with the surrealists) were a little harder to find, until I started looking in French – typing "martien" instead of "martian – and hit upon this post, from which most of these images have come. 
 Here is one exception:


 This I found in a lovely summary of Smith's life on the blog "Burials and Beyond". I believe it shows a Martian accompanied by one of the planet's many "dog-like creatures with heads that looked like cabbages that not only fetched objects for their masters, but also took dictation." Good boy! No wonder he's patting it.
 Here's the real thing:

Friday, 20 March 2020

EXCITING SPACE ADVENTURE 24


 "Well, we went for a walk."

"Yep."
 "And now we're back."

"Yep."
 "And we're on Mars."

"Mm."
 "So this is Mars."

"So shall we go back into our home?"
 "Then we can take our helmets off."
"I mean, sure."

 "Mars though!"

From "Boring Space Aventures"
Again, a post that was hanging around on the reserve benches for months, and never meant to be remotely relevant. I bet those bubbles smell horrible.

 Illustration by Chesley Bonestell

Tuesday, 3 March 2020

Good News Update on the State of the Entire World

 It's fixed! It really seems to have been fixed! That's right, I can post links to the blog on facebook and instagram again! Cheese and crackers, what a relief, not just because it means I can now hobby along as before, but because - Well, how often does one get good news? Specifically, get told you can no longer do what you're doing, but then that it's actually alright? Without a fight? Within an evening? This is that. Touch wood. I'm still waiting for the second shoe to drop of course, but the daily making of something potentially pleasant is the only activism I trust myself with right now (F.T.O.D.)* and the immediate return of this freedom to share it, by a business ostensibly established to facilitate exactly that, colours everything. Unreserved thanks therefore to everyone who got in touch with the powers that might be to make this happen, and to the powers as well, and GO, OLD TIMEY INTERNET! (Is immediately banned again for pants.)


Image from "A Message From Mars" 1913
* Fascism Thrives On Division, don'cha know.

Sunday, 19 January 2020

Giant Robot Scorpion Revisited

 I'm cock-a-hoop that tonight the Doctor finally got to meet the inspiration for Professor Death. As one of the flesh-and-blood archetypes of the "Mad Professor" Tesla had always seemed to me an obvious subject for Doctor Who, and Nina Metivier's episode had it all: Wardenclyffe, the Current War, the signals from Mars, nothing from Tesla's mythos was left unused, Goran Višnjić was a beautiful Nikola, and while it's always been a bit too easy to paint the "inventor of inventing" as the baddie, Graham was just the right choice to finally tear a strip off Edison, but an additional thrill for me was the choice of ultimate villain: Armoured Scorpions of Death!

 I mean it's an absolute coincidence I know, but I loved it. My own sketch complete with giant robot scorpion is underneath, and I've written more about it, and Tesla, and the runny logic of so much of the cult surrounding him (much of which would go on to inspire the mythology of "Time Spanner") here. It's back from when this blog was on myspace though so none of the links work now, sorry. Anyway, didn't they pull out all the stops on this one! I love it.

Thursday, 24 September 2009

"Makes the Caucasian Chalk Circle look like Eastenders"

Photobucket

So the reviews are in and WE'RE A HIT!

"... fabulous, fabulous set..." Kirsty Wark

"... spectacle... " Robin Ince

"... trying to tell you anything at all. It was super-... a laugh I suppose... reminded me of the stuff from the eighties they had on Channel 4..." John Harris 

"... the set is good..." Oliver Kamm

"... not a complete waste of time... there was nothing new about it. BUT -..." Germaine Greer

 Well at least television's regained some of its mystique for me now. All that Mitchell and Webb stuff had just made me cocky. But I'd love to know what GG was going to say after that "BUT" before Kirsty Wark cut her off to point out that the Enron show had sold out. She was spot on about reading the "event" as the "organism Money", and had stuck her tongue out at me in our Parliament so was clearly one of us. Also it was enlightening to see Robin Ince chance upon the perfect mind-set for enjoying the show; the only question now is how do we get an audience that *haven't* missed the first forty minutes to approach us in as good faith... Anyway, work continues: 10am calls, a little less audience interaction, a lot more cast interaction (which is jolly). And Lizzie's produced a fantastic series of prints for the Institute upstairs now (see above) which may just explain everything: the organism, on wheels, everywhere. We set out. They've just turned the lights off. The machine's kicked in and it's probably time to let our sixth audience pile in. My sister got it anyway. Who knows what's out there? Oh, for anyone who enjoyed Disney's Magic Highway here's Disney's Life on Mars. Well, the visuals anyway, but you all like Techno, right?


(originally posted on myspace)

Tuesday, 21 October 2008

DEATH RAY WEEK day doodah: Laser Tag

(originally posted on myspace here)



Photobucket

Is this - ? Why - What was the point of this blog again? Anyway Hamlet (abridged) happened on Sunday again in front of four charming witnesses. "Let's film a trailer next," thought our producer aloud, "With better costumes and lighting - Just set two days aside and -" Back to the lab... That night I was up with a cold watching "Have I Got News For You?" on iplayer, answering everything and realizing that I get most of my news now from youtube. I'm THAT bored. Clips isn't really news though, is it. Clips is just clips, they'll never tell you what's really going on. Unlike THIS!

Photobucket

Here's an exciting interview with author, Doctor Judy Wood: Could the collapse of the Twin Towers be the work of a Giant Death Ray? What exactly IS the "dustification" point of steel?... I'm sorry but Sarah Palin's clearly given me a real taste for watching dumb lies squirm under scrutiny, how about you? Dr. Judy's haggard appearance admittedly skews one's schadefreude a tad, but still:


Oh listen no actually that's not important. What I really want to draw to your attention is this. This is what actually happens when you point a Laser at a building in Manhattan. This is what a Graffiti Research Lab actually gets up to. I'm going to build one for Morgan:


James helps to design robots on Mars. James wears a hood. James rules.

Friday, 17 October 2008

DEATH RAY WEEK day 1: interesting properties of punched light


Here's a little shot from the far-more-impressive-than-any-evidence-I-could-bring-back set of the "Giant Death Ray" sketch I visited last Wednesday, a military hanger filled with all manner of eccentric machinery from the 1930's... back when machines were REAL machines, and had levers and hand-painted gauges and head-rests. Under that sheet is... well, a spoiler, but certainly something I had never really expected to see undertaken when I first wrote the sketch. In fact the producer asked me to write it out of the last draft entirely (I suppose just in case) and it was only when I bumped into David M beaming at a barbecue that I got the good news: "No - No. NO! The sketch has GOT to have a gxxnt rxbxt scxxxxxn, and it HAS GOT to be HUGE". I can probably show you this though, a detail from the proposed design the director made on the back of a story-board. Yes, story-board. Mwa-ha-ha: 


And did I say how impressed I was by the Doom Melon? I've just tried to relight a cigarette butt and set fire to the hairs on the end of my nose. Right, Mad Scientists... "You'd think you'd know his name," begins one documentary about the early twentieth century inventor Nikola Tesla. Even now, very little is allowed to be known about his work, and a little knowledge being if not a dangerous thing then at least a very creepy thing the usual speculation has accrued... (I'm back from looking up "accrued". Yes, it has accrued). Writes one nut: "The godfather of all modern electrical conviniences. crushed by the zionist devil elite. we could of been like the jettsons or a nice version of 5th element. instead we have been held back probably 500 years by the evil new world order. damn them in hell."


No actually sorry, to call the speculation surrounding Tesla's work "usual" does it an immense disservice. "Researching" him on youtube for what became the Giant Death Ray sketch I found myself flung slack-jawed into a giddy, batty forum of holistic conspiracy theories concerning perpetual motion, time travel, the Philadelphia Experiment and something called a Montauk Chair, which if sat upon will instantly transport you to the surface of Mars. I suppose it's in the provision of access to exactly this kind of "wrong book" lore that the internet comes into its own. And why it takes me so long to write sketches.


But for this week let's not judge a man by his nuts, and focus instead on this genius' influence upon TRASHY OLD SCIENCE FICTION... beginning with the classiest of said trash: the Fleischer Brothers' Superman. He may have a coil named after him, but the teaming of mad scientist and giant laser is, after all, the larger of Tesla's legacies to the public imagination. Unfortunately. For him. And probably us.
 

Punching! That's Superman's answer to everything, isn't it. Beautiful cartoon though. Okay, I'm going to get into that bath I ran an hour ago and see if any of those centimetre-long baby slugs have reappeared around the taps. TOMORROW: SAM BAKER AS HUGO