Heaven's Full of Machines (doing a comic)

Idea for film...

EXT. OUTER SPACE, NIGHT (INT.? DAY.?)

Norrin Radd, the SILVER SURFER thrashes about the ionosphere, trapped in what Dylan Moran once called in an interview with Jonathan Ross "the washing machine of your own mind"

Suddenly...

HUMAN PORCH
Hello, pal.

SILVER SURFER
Who are thee? Thou? (Art thou?)

HUMAN PORCH
I am... the human porch!

SILVER SURFER
The human torch?!

HUMAN TORCH
Torch, yes. Thank you.

SILVER SURFER
But who is that mortal hanging from your flank?

DAWKINS
God, eh? What a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak!

HUMAN TORCH
It's Richard Dawkins, buster! I'm trying to give him a glimpse of the ineffable. Pang!

DAWKINS
What a vindictive, bloodthirsty, ethnic-cleansing, misogynistic, homophobic, racist, genocidal, capriciously malevolent bully!

HUMAN TORCH
And I thought the heavens might be just the crazy, wing-ding place!

DAWKINS
I defy anybody to disagree with any of those epithets.

ULYSSES 31
He's got a point.

DAWKINS
Also, have you ever noticed - right - how...

SILVER SURFER

Okay. Do you know Galacticus?

HUMAN PORCH
Galactus?

SILVER SURFER
Sorry. Yes. Galactus, the Devourer of Worlds. Size of a planet. Big hat.

DAWKINS
And the cosmos, eh? Bit overweight!

HUMAN PERCH
Yes. He's so tall though, why does he need the big hat? Chiwawah!

SILVER SURFER
He's big, but he's not tall. Actually he's quite squat from a distance –

DAWKINS 

That's why he's such a hit with the Hindus.

SILVER SURFER
– of about five hundred thousand miles.

DAWKINS
Ganesha, eh? What an elephant-headed, rat-riding...

PETER CROUCH
Yes, but the hat if anything just makes him look more squat. (baby)

SILVER SURFER
Okay, but anyway, if thou lookest over there. Thou seest all those – well, those worlds?

HUMAN TOUCH
Mm-hmm-hmm.

SILVER SURFER

 

DAWKINS
Bloody Hell!

HUMAN TORCH
Cheers, Norris.

SILVER SURFER
Norrin.

DAWKINS
Bloody, bloody Hell!

KRISHNA
Okay? Now piss off back to the lab, Dawkins.

STAN LEE
The end?