Showing posts with label Chrismas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chrismas. Show all posts

Thursday, 1 February 2024

Meet Hotten Crusty!

The author, entirerly comfortable doing a first-time Northern accent in front of cameras.
 
 I swear, I didn't just come back on this blog to plug stuff, but back in December, I was asked by Jamie Annett – the director of that episode of EastEnders I'd enjoyed being in so much - to take a day off from the Polar Express, to come and film a lovely little scene opposite "Bob Hope" (played by Tony Audenshaw) in Emmerdale. That scene went out tonight, and the internet has gone WIIIIILD...
 
  Okay, that scene's not actually mine, mine is fourteen and a half minutes into episode nine-thousand-and-five, HERE. Personally speaking, I liked Bob. His child's just died, and when I ask him how the guitar playing's going, he finds sweet relief in pretending they're still alive. Another really lovely scene then, and Tony was beautiful, and I remembered to hold my clipboard the right way round, and no-one asked me to drive the van, and the rain held off, and, once the scene was done, we all had Christmas dinner at the top of the hill. Rock on.
 

(Note, road sign right way up.)

Sunday, 11 December 2022

Everything But Snow. And Snow.


 "Have a fight," said the guy with the camera to the man and child in the small plastic dome with fake snow on the floor, just before I started filming. It wasn't the kind of fake snow you could make balls with, if such a kind exists, but it didn't look like there was much else to do in there. The same seemed true of the reindeer paddock.
 
 There were caribou on Church Street today, as well as the steel band, all right outside the Cockpit, and all gone just as it actually started to snow, between shows. (They went well by the way, the shows, by which I mean I think I've finally stopped rushing. The trouble is I never know I'm rushing until I stop.)
 

 And none of us can work out what this refers to. 
 
 The snow this evening is thick now – as you'll know if you're reading this in London – George-Bailey-come-back-to-life thick, refusing to fall from the tops of spiked fence or the branches of plane trees along Notting Hill Gate, piling up on crumpled inflatable snowmen outside people's big front doors, still falling now outside my window with the terminal velocity of confetti. Flakes got into Badphone on the walk home however, fritzing with its unlocking, so I wasn't able to take any photos. But imagine it. It looked like that. 
 Here instead is some freezing mist I photographed on the walk into work today on the big bridge that curves over Little Venice with the scanty streetlights and the single file pavements where I tend to finally check the time and find I'm running late.

Saturday, 18 December 2021

Hospitality (featuring Woodlouse or Moth)

 "The PSC (pre show coffee) Award: Simon" – smudged in transit
 
 Oh my God, I never win anything!
 The "Best Actor Oscar" from Morgan was an honorary thing really, but that paper plate to the left of it came with ceremony, cheers, and tables in the corner of an upstairs room of the Lyric Pub Soho – the full Dundies, in other words – a coherence. The PSC is an award that speaks to me. It says, "You make coffee before a show, Simon. You are seen. You did not just crash the Crystal Maze hosts' social last Monday. You were expected, it's fine." 
 After the ceremony we lugged our plastic medals over to the Pheonix – when was I last there?... I bounded home smoothed by compliments received for a person I barely recognised, and fortified by the hope of a world reoreinting itself to accommodate the plans of those just starting out. 
 Christmas had started early. 
 In fact, as soon as Halloween was over – bang on All Hallows' – we'd transitioned into playing reindeer, and the Crystal Maze wasn't the only business decking its halls earlier than seemed seemly, in the unspoken shadow of another possible lockdown sometime in actual December. So it was good we got the  celebrating in when we did, before Omicron Week. 
 However it does mean I ended up posting nothing on Monday evening. Or since. So to make up for that, here's a working week's worth of unposted quiz rounds from the Dungeon Zoom, beginning with - from May the 14th – "Woodlouse or Moth?"... There are ten of each, but which is which? I'll post the answers in the comments below, but you can also find them for yourself here and here.

1. Dandy Postman
2. Apple Leaf Skeletonizer
3. Charlie Pig
4. Oak Lutestring
5. Scarce Vapourer
6. Billy Baker
7. Humidity Bug
8. Manchester Treble-Bar
9. Blair's Shoulder-Knot
10. Cheesy Papa
11. Roly-Poly
12. Old Lady
13. Triangle
14. Chuggy Peg
15. Least Minor
16. Damp Beetle
17. Clifden Nonpareil
18. Leather-Jacket
19. Snout
20. Granny Grunter