Wednesday, 29 August 2007

Topless Politics. man stuff.

(originally posted on myspace here)


What do I want and why do I want it? When does hope become greed? Just generally. Is it a sign of aging? That's something I considered up in Edinburgh. "Never trust anyone over thirty" said Charlton Heston to a monkey before galloping off to meet his destiny topless with a rifle and a mute brunette. And yes that's all very well for 1968, but - Actually it was odd because if you turned over from "Planet of the Apes" on Bank Holiday Monday to Channel 5 there he was in again in "Ben Hur", nine years younger, but standing in exactly the same loincloth, tan and beard. I mean literally. (He wasn't standing in a beard, alright, although that might look good. I'll make that.)

Anyway yes that's all very well for 1968, but I've noticed a number of angry twenty-year-olds at work, angry and hopeless, robbed of any ideology. And it occurred to me of course, any fellow thirty-somethings, that these people have lived HALF THEIR LIVES under the present government… so no wonder they're so scared and racist. It was alright for us because we knew the Tories were baddies when they talked about "Preserving the British Way of Life"… We grew up with images of gorgons smeared in blood and cash and war… But "kids today", they've heard that same poppycock from the good guys. Thatcher's not the baddie anymore, it's something called the New World Order, and expect to hear immigration mentioned a lot. That's all I'm saying. I should formulate that argument a bit more. Don't worry, I won't. That's the other thing I'm saying. And "Don't trust anyone under thirty" is probably where I was headed, but I doubt I'll arrive.

One of the angriest of these twenty-somethings is "ricky", whose friend request I have just accepted on myspace. I thought about it. His mood is ":Angry" and his page is papered with images of 9/11. He writes a lot about the New World Order and posts about ten bulletins a day, but in the end I thought… yeah, alright, this IS the internet, and he hasn't mentioned the Protocols of the Elders of Zion once, and there definitely IS a Bilderberg Group (although I keep confusing them with the Wooster Group) and he might be what Ken Campbell calls "a seeker".

And he is.
But he's not wearing a shirt. And he's posing outside his bathroom. With his arms raised.

So interesting and valuable as many of your conspiracy posts are, Ricky, put a shirt on and bring your arms down because you look like a scary madman. And maybe a bit more hair?

By the way, dear readers, you do realize that extremely significant and sublime things might be happening in my life and I'm just not recording them, don't you. You do realize that. Here's Charlton Heston standing in a beard (signed):

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