"A place for the curious... Closed for now. We do not exist"

 "But if you -"

 We'll never know. 

 I went for a walk in the afternoon, past Highgate Cemetery and other spots. That morning I had attended my first online funeral. It was for my cousin Peter. Alternate pews were been roped off in purple and, unseen and unheard, I rose, and sat, and bowed my head, and sang along, looking down at the backs of the heads of my extended family from a camera not that high above them. I was grateful to participate and I'm trying to think when I last experienced sustained solemnity. It's not like going to church at Christmas; at a funeral belief or otherwise in God seems a far more minor distinction. I didn't feel - I never feel - that those who believe in an afterlife receive particularly more comfort. 

 If anything "the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away" is even more horrible information to hear if you believe in Him. What kind of friend is that? But maybe that's what we atheists get so wrong. People don't love God because they're trapped in some abusive relationship, but because they love the World even though the World can treat us terribly. Funerals are a show of strength, and I'm sorry you're gone, Peter. I've never known a funeral give closure, whatever that is, or in any way adequately celebrate a person's life, but what they can provide is a very powerful disincentive to die. You wouldn't want to put anyone through a funeral.