Monday, 17 May 2010

Final day of my exciting election blog: The Comfort Zone

(originally posted on myspace here)

 

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(Klegg joke)

It's gone. I'm pretty sure it's gone, the comfort zone. That seems to be the mood. Hence the outrage. Yes, I said "mood". Is my political judgment too superficial? I don't know. But if I attached no importance at all to the superficial, I couldn't be an actor or a writer. Heavens, how would my conscience stand for it? I'd be a doctor instead. I'd make bread or chairs, or, Christ, yes of course, work in politics, even if I was useless at it... rather than make things that serve no material purpose, things as superficial as Obama's "Yes we can" or the broadcast of Brown's "bigoted old woman" or even (NEVER FORGET!) Cameron's decision to cycle into work while having a spare shirt chauffeured in behind him. But I make these superficial things, have no qualms about making them rather than healing or feeding people because you know, I suppose I believe that in a society where people have the right to communicate with each other, how they communicate is actually important, and should be taken care of. I must believe that.

And believing that, I can't help but consider the "superficial" aspects of this new deal, and in so considering conclude that the National Security Council's biggest gaff thus far has been simply turning up...

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I mean, LOOK at all these English whitemen. Does Clegg look out of place? I think he does actually. He's the only one who's achieved anything. An entirely superficial judgment I know, but one I never thought I'd be saying a month ago. Who would have thought Clegg's woodeness when working to a script belied a such a gob-smacking hidden talent for political improvisation? He's like Eddie Izzard, on both counts. Did you see how comfortably he reacted to that journalist who brought up Cameron's description of him as bad political joke (in a bad political joke?)? And did you see Cameron shit himself when he walked: "Hahaha, come back. Haha..."? In spite of all the work Cameron's put in he's actually feeble in his command of the superficial (symptomatic of what we in the making-shit-up industry call "lacking vision".) Having Clegg stand next to him doesn't make him look good at all. And standing next to Cameron is now Clegg's job.

Actually okay, I've just watched it over again and what really strikes me now about this clip is how Cameron isn't working from a script either. He can't. The BBC meanwhile, who still are, just look like jerks now (John Finnemore's good on this). And if you're spitting tacks at Clegg for seeking a coalition with the party that got the most votes, then you confuse me because that's exactly what he said he'd do, isn't it? Which is why I voted Labour. If you voted Libdem, surely this is what you voted for. And good for you! We're all out of our Comfort Zone now. Hopefully. Even those forty-something English whitemen taking us over. And Christ, we should have left it long ago, certainly by the time David Kelly slit his wrists. We should never have let the Comfort Zone consolidate itself into a place where who you feared or hated were the only credentials that meant anything (apart from, I suppose, your favourite X factor judge), never have let it take our Government - OUR Government - into unchallenged recession, war, the state-sponsored teaching of creationism and the unpunished killing of innocent bystanders by police. Oh and this. So fuck the good guys. Where there's death there's hope, and we had to say goodbye to that. I have no idea how this will pan out, or who will suffer, but I do know two things: A) Every face that made me smile when Labour won in '97 has long since been forced to resign or died or been forced to resign, then died. And B) Come PMQs it would be very cool (on an entirely superficial level of course) to see Diane Abbott at the dispatch box.

Oh this is very funny though:

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