On Tuesday I'm going to record a voiceover for a "documentary for
the Sci Fi Channel". That's all I know so far and I'm simultaneously
very excited and sure I shouldn't be since I've no idea what the Sci Fi
Channel actually documents. Nevertheless yesterday found me pacing the
floor of Plague fruitlessly speculating which words I might be called
upon to intone ("Cosmos" was one I hoped for. "Shelley" another.) And
then in the evening, changing the subject somewhat, I went over to John
Finnemore's where the conversation among those assembled inevitably
turned to the root of the word "Mastodon"... "something teeth" was as
far as we got before Robbie looked it up: And a mastodon, it turns out,
is an extinct straight-backed elephant, slightly smaller than the
Mammoth, whose teeth "exhibit a pattern of cone-shaped cusps ideal for
browsing". Which must be why the committee of paleontologists called
together to name this lesser mammoth settled on the name "Nipple Teeth".
That's what "Mastodon" means. That is the lesser mammoth's defining
characteristic according to those namers. It's teeth look like tits.
And
does anyone remember those Italian Scientists who published research
into the number of glasses of wine you should drink a day? Four, they'd
discovered. They sound fun too.
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