Khan-spreading

Last Christmas my Mum gave me "Genghis Khan and the Making of the Modern World" by Jack Weatherford because apparently I'd been complaining about how little I knew about Genghis Khan. Now that I've finally read it I'm very glad she did. Here are some passages to give you an idea why, accompanied by images of Genghis Khan statuary in ascending order of spread:

 

"In twenty five years, the Mongol army subjugated more lands and people than the Romans had conquered in four hundred years... On every level and from any perspective, the scale and scope of Genghis Khan's accomplishments challenge the limits of imagination and tax the resources of scholarly explanation."

 

"Instead of attacking the walls of Riazan, the Mongols used their massive number of conscripted laborers in a project that confused and terrified the citizens even more. The workers cut down trees, hauled them to the Mongol lines outside the city, and rapidly began building a wall completely surrounding the already walled city."

"The four serpents on the Silver Tree of Karakorum symbolized the four directions in which the Mongol Empire extended... When the khan wanted to summon drinks for his guests, the mechanical angel raised the trumpet to his lips and sounded the horn, whereupon the mouths of the serpents began to gush out a fountain of alcoholic beverages into large silver basins arranged at the base of the tree."

 "The Mongols loved competitions of all sorts, and they organized debates among rival religions the same way they organized wrestling matches... Finally, as the effects of the alcohol became stronger, the Christians gave up trying to persuade anyone with logical arguments, and resorted to singing. The Muslims, who did not sing, responded by loudly reciting the Koran in an effort to drown out the Christians, and the Buddhists retreated into silent meditation."

So why didn't any of it last? The same reason so little lasted beyond the fifteenth century AD: the Black Death, which wiped out a fifth of the population of the planet. Having opened up the world from the Pacific to the Mediterranean, the Mongol Empire's extraordinary infrastructure collapsed from the casualties, a victim of its own success. Western Europe meanwhile, protected from the Mongol invasion by its forests, stepped into that world as soon as the coast was clear, and that's what we call the Renaissance. Would read again.

 

(Apologies for non-inclusion to Dashi Namdakov.)

Something I only noticed about Horror Sequels watching Darlin'...

Frankenstein's sequel: The Bride of Frankenstein...

Night of the Living Dead's sequel: Dawn of the Dead...

Evil Dead's sequel: Evil Dead II...

etc...

They say comedy is tragedy plus time, so it makes sense so many horror sequels turn out to be hoots, and while I knew Freddy Kreuger got sillier and Godzilla cuddlier over time, I hadn't noticed how quick the turnaround could be on absolute corkers until this evening when I saw Pollyanna McIntosh's "Darlin'" (the trailer's packed with spoilers by the way). Its predecessor "The Woman" is an absolute classic - stark and simple and absolutely merciless - and the sequel does everything I now realise a return to the scene of that trauma should do: introduces a wider world, builds a family, and parkours from tone to tone without putting a foot wrong or looking like it's searching for a way out (everything "Bride of Frankenstein" did in fact). Also it looks incredible. It's out in September I think, it will make you laugh and it will make you hurt, and it is a hoot.

 

"Son of Kong" however is shit.

 

What Do The Pills Do?

 Well, I didn't know they do this for a start:

 

 And now, apologies. The lights went out all over my old laptop a while back, but I have a new one now, so I can blog again woo! And I have something to plug which is ending very soon: "Coma" – a show ostensibly about lying down and taking a pill. The pill-taking is optional, but not the lying down, as space in the venue is limited (see below).

 Photo by Mihaela Bodlovic.    

As part of their ongoing Darkfield project, creator David "shunt" Rosenberg, writer Glen "Ring" Neath, musicians Max and Ben Ringham, et al have recorded me and others doing things in a box, and then taken that box up to Summerhall, so people can lie in it in total darkness for half an hour, and be an audience. Given the absence of any live performer (as far as I know) it's extraordinary how live an event these shows still manage to be – the simple presence of others counts for a lot, it turns out, even if you can't see them. And the twitter reviews I've read have been incredibly pleasing, although the most pleasing was probably: "Neither pleasant nor unpleasant it sits just the right side of creative to make you feel that things are not good until you leave", because it's so confusing. You can book TICKETS HERE and then I think the show's moving to Canary Wharf in September. But, as I say, most of my work was done a month ago, outside Television Centre (see below). You know, in that heat wave. Water was on hand... that's not much of an anedote is it – Okay: I was asked to provide a component of something unique built by friends. It was fun. And still is. I'm assuming.

So yes I'm doing Edinburgh this year, sort of - not physically (which is a shame as London "Gabbie" Hughes is obviously KILLING IT UP THERE), but I hear it's like I'm really there, right down to the smell (see below – not sure which vial's me):

 

And of course David's been doing stuff with binaural sound for over a decade now. And shipping containers. Things were easier back in 2007, before the crunch, back when we were doing "Contains Violence" and were still allowed in buildings. I can't believe I've never posted this shot of the microphones going into Nigel's head so we could record me stoving it in with an Apple Mac before:

And here's the card handed to audiences from that first binaural gig, intended to minimise technical hiccups. The system's been refined a bit since.

 

25/08/19: P.S.: I've just remembered, my favourite review is actually this one comparing the character I voice to "one of those vaguely disreputable Cronenbergian scientists", and noting "in fact Cronenbrg's two earliest movies, Stereo and Crimes of the Future could provide acceptable alternative titles for this..."  Lovely stuff.

POW NYEEOW PEGASUSES BANG tink tink tink - Two "Avengers: Endgame" thoughts

 Stark staring

"We're not beginning to... to... to mean something?"

Samuel Beckett, Endgame

 Am I wrong, or have Marvel movies changed what film stars are, changed them back to what they were? These charming, witty, principled but troubled and surprisingly middle-aged heroes of Marvel Phases 1, 2 and 3 aren't the kind of blockbuster surefire things I or even my Dad grew up with. They're Cary Grant and Jimmy Stewart, and like those stars - and unlike the singular Schwarzenegger or Connery - they're legion. If Disney really is buying all the cinemas and Netflix all the telly then the Studio System might be returning, and I don't know what to feel about that because I've always loved old movies... That was one thought I had after "Avengers: Everyone". The other's a SPOILER, so anyone who doesn't mind those, meet me under the table, and everyone else, BYE x

Okay the other thought was:

SPOILERS, REMEMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She lets him die. "We're gonna be okay... You can rest..." The more I think about it the more gutted I am. I've never recorded on this blog before how oddly important Downey's "piping hot mess" has been to me. Iron Man wasn't a comic I knew anything about and I'd always found RD Jr a bit too get-out-of-my-way in previous films, but from "Iron Man 2" onwards Futurism was suddenly a thing again, and curiosity and hope, all served with newly smart grasp of the USA's unique relationship with fantasy, and this excited me. And I loved Tony Stark. So to see him finally diagnosed with a death wish, and to see that wish granted by the person who cared for him most was devastating. There were other reasons he had to die of course narratively speaking: as an idealisation of post-War America, Stark's mini-Hiroshima with the finger-click couldn't go without a reckoning (just as the earlier murder of Thanos had to turn Thor blurry). But I'd hoped for a happy ending with "Endgame", and feel something has been let go, and that it being let go is final proof it was untenable. And I don't want to type the words "Rest In Peace" again either I don't think. At least the alternative "Fare Forward" avoids the idea life's a chore. Ideally I'd just like to say from now on "Sorry you've gone"... Good film though.

Clark staring

Kenny Everett interrogates John Lennon about Abstraction and Misery and I share it.

My mate Ollie Ford, who originally put this extraordinary 1971 artefact up on f*c*book, writes:

"This is a brilliant interview. Kenny Everett is so funny and John clearly likes him. He asks why his first solo album was so sad when he has so much and John starts to play the Laughing Policeman on his guitar and sarcastically asks if he’d prefer his next album to sound like that. There is also a heartbreaking bit when he tells Kenny how he’d like to die..."

 

I'm putting up a second post today, not because I'm ashamed of the previous one – it's clearly a beautiful tale, vividly told – but because I'm trying to make this the place where I share stuff now, and this is definitely worth sharing. The anarchic sweetheart, who would later go on to shout "Let's bomb Russia!" at Young Conservatives on the advice of Michael Winner, pulls surprisingly few punches questioning the choices of the troubled genius who would later go on to sing "Imagine no possessions" sat behind a white grand in Tittenhurst Park, and perhaps what's most extraordinary is just how cosy the interview remains, despite Cuddly Ken's unresolvable problems with not only John and Yoko's politics, but their art. It's all parsecs away from Lennon mucking around with Peter Cook a decade earlier, or Everett mucking around with Bowie and Freddie Mercury a decade on, but there's no bad faith here, and it's fun...

Liana Finck. Here's the linck.

... which hopefully leads me to why I'm sharing the interview here on this blog, rather than on, say, twitter. Because it's literally impossible these days to go more than thirty seconds on that site without encountering a fight. Neither that site nor f*c*book are really doing what we want them to any more – which is stay in touch – and they're both on our phones now, and our phones no longer fit our hands, and I'm increasingly concerned about what's in charge of who sees what. Joe Mande posted something beautiful about leaving twitter only today: "That's the problem with most things that are stupid as fuck: they're usually pretty fun" and Rick Webb's Internet Mea Culpa remains very sound, but of course there are many incentives to stay on, because one's work requires attention, so I'll keep linking to the blog on both sites. If you've any comments, however, I guess, please post below? Or just enjoy.

(If you're unfamiliar with the work and impact of Kenny Everett – whom I love – you're probably also unfamiliar with Joel Morris and Jason Hazely's "Rule Of Three" podcast – which I also love – so you might want to start with this one.)

And I'm still on instagram. Sure!

EXCITING SPACE ADVENTURE 22 - The Sights

 "Well I don't know what we were expecting to see..." muttered Zorian.
 "You - You guys didn't think that was wild?! I thought you'd really dig - No, uh, no problem, there's other sights!" But Plok could see his fare slipping away...
 "SO SHOULD I SEE SOMEONE ABOUT THIS THEN OR > BWAAAP > WAIT, ARE NONE OF YOU DOCTORS?..."

Ilustration by Ed Valigursky.

Teaching Kids to Love Theatre by letting them Hate It

 Nigel Barrett is in a sensational kid's show at the Unicorn Theatre called "The Show in Which Hopefully Nothing Happens". Yesterday afternoon Tom and I went to sit at the back. Most of the rest of the audience were school parties of, I don't know, seven- to ten-year-olds, and witnessing them get to their feet and scream at the stage was, without a doubt, one of the best experiences I've had in a theatre. Here's some of what they screamed:

"DON'T COME ON!"

 "YOU ARE VERY BAD!"

"CAN'T YOU DO SOMETHING BETTER THAN THIS?!"

 

 

"WE FORGIVE YOU!"

"JUST TELL US WHAT IT IS!"

 "STOP TRICKING US!"

 And from another afternoon's show, which Nigel passed onto us: "YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE! YOU STAND WHERE YOU STAND!"

Photos by Camilla Greenwell. Hopefully you can still get tickets here.