It's Singles' Dawn here at the Ole Unattended (We'll always have Paris)

(originally posted on myspace here)

Five thirty-eight ayem you guys. In two hours I'll be cooking myself breakfast and heading off to the Dungeons once more. I remember my first Valentine's day there. That was - What the Hell? -SEVEN YEARS AGO?! No. No wait I'm glad I stuck it out this long because of course that is where I met - well what should I call her here? I can't keep calling her my baby so let's fire up that right brain, start making sounds with our mouths and just see what happens: Lilly Bambazaan? Transboundy Gal? Mima Nunahangamban? Lass Booms? Mm. Anyway I'm up this late/early/stupid because I was hoping to finally squeeze in a little post about my trip with Miss Transboundy to Paris what with this being Valentine's Day and me now proudly tamed. But that clearly hasn't happened so here's what I call "the better idea". A little shout out to the singles.

Hey, look at you, singles! This day is yours, you get that right? I mean, you can't have a day for couples! The very nature of a "couple" (uyergh, just listen to that word: Couple. Khhhuahaharphul! Aclk!) precludes any celebration, for "celebration" surely suggests a coming together of people in numbers GREATER THAN TWO. Don't we couples know that true love WAITS? Don't we know that life is PAIN, HIGHNESS! You get it. You've read at least the first half of the Female Eunuch. You don't want to wake up one day and find you've turned into Don Draper / nearly-every-woman-in-fiction. No, there is a WORLD out there! And YOU are it's hero. Well you're my hero anyway. And this day, o singles - hey this whole WORLD - is nothing but your party. At our expense. 

(Okay actually I'm not sure if anyone in this picture is single BUT imagine how much more fun they'd be having if they were. And I'm pretty sure looking at them they were all at least FEELING single the second this photo was taken. And that's how you feel ALL THE TIME, SINGLES! And might this song below be your anthem? Probably not but boy can that guy dance! He's single, right?)

I LOVE YOU FOREVER SINGLES, BYEEE! XxXxXxXxX