"Not as far as I am aware, at this moment in time."

Napier Barracks, Folkestone (source)

 

 "I apologise for the delay. In this. But we wanted to make sure. There have been pockets of disorder outside and I wanted to make sure that it was clear and safe for you all to leave the building. Okay? So I apologise for the delay. We will start very shortly. The officers are getting ready to let you go. If when you leave the building, you go to your left, that will be the safest exit. Okay? So thank you very much for your patience -" 

 "Is there a kettle?"

 "No, we're letting you go."

 "Excuse me. Sorry. Are there any evidence gatherers based around the corner?"

 "I haven't seen any outside."

 "Or is there any intention of perhaps holding people just to confirm identities?"

 "Er."

 "Or anything like that?"

 "Not as far as I am aware, at this moment in time."

 "Okay. I think that's my–"

 "So it's not an absolute."

 "I think– If you could find that and confirm it– Because it would make a big difference to some of the people–"

 "I'll go outside and let you know. The problem is that there's other people got control outside, and I'm the messenger."

 "I understand–"

 "So I'm trying really hard to expedite this, and get everyone outside, because I know people got homes to go to."

 "Can you review– Are you able to answer questions about the situation as people leave?"

 "Right. As people leave, they're going to be asked to go left. They're just going into– into a safe environment, cos there's a lot– There's some disorder down there–"

 "Yeah, I heard."

 "And there's some disorder down that end. So we're trying to keep it sterile, so people are safe, so they can get away to the tube stations."

 "Okay. Are they being pushed in a certain area?"

 "Who?"

 "If people leave–" 

 "If people leave, they'll be directed towards the safest–"
(A second officer: "To Green Park.") 

 "Towards Green park." 

 "Okay, so they won't be stopped on the way and–" 

 "Well hopefully they're not going to be. Hopefully, they're not going to get stopped, because that's why it's taken so long. To make sure everyone's got the right message."

 

 This transcript's been in my drafts for years. 

 It's an exchange, from a decade ago, between a police officer at the doors of Fortnum & Mason and a guy inside who wanted to leave. But they weren't being let go, it transpired, and there was indeed a kettle outside. I assume the guy asking was a protestor with UK Uncut, although there were many inside who weren't – my friend Boz, for example. As I wrote here: "Boz was there recording sound for an afternoon play for Radio 4. He was first held outside the jail, in the rain, for ten hours, because the 24 hours you're allowed to detain someone for only officially starts once they're inside. He was then put in a cell, and asked every 45 minutes if he needed anything. He would ask for a glass of water, but was never brought one. This carried on throughout the night, at regular 45 minute intervals, them asking if he wanted anything, him asking for a glass of water, meaning he was never allowed to sleep." The draft in which I'd put this transcript was headed:

 "Fascism in England Will Always Take The Form of Missed Communication."

 I wasn't sure what I wanted to say beyond that.

 But I think it's still a fair lookout, and that – I suppose this is the point I really wanted to make – those currently expressing online how baffled they are by this government's "incompetence" might want to reconsider what it thinks its job is. I made this transcription long before Boris Johnson – an anthropomorphisation of missed communication – became Prime Minister of course, but maybe he isn't being swayed by libertarians so much, as simply using their arguments to reframe his actions. And I'm not just suggesting a policy of "herd immunity" is fascism, necessarily, nor the crowding of refugees at the height of a pandemic into an army barracks slated for demolition. But maybe the word "malice" is appropriate. And malice isn't incompetence either. I think it's still a fair lookout.

         

Tomorrow: Probably more cartoons.