A Surer Evil Timeline Check Than Goatees

 I finally watched the Mirror Universe episode of Star Trek, the one where Kirk and Bones accidentally beam into an evil universe and Spock has a goatee – the first instance, I think, of facial hair being used to denote an evil switch. (In 1960's The Two Faces of Dr. Jeckyll, Jeckyll actually loses a beard to become Hyde, but I'll always associate the evil beard, first and foremost, with the twin of Michal Knight.)

 As a simple statement of the values of the Federation, Mirror, Mirror works incredibly well – a bit like, now I think of it, how Pottersville in It's a Wonderful Life realises the malevolent effect upon characters we've already met of living in a world similarly gone to shit (although in that darkest timeline, spectacles on a love interest take the place of the goatee). My favourite moment comes about twenty minutes in, when we finally cut back to our universe – assuming optimistically that Star Trek is set in our universe – to find out what havoc the evil Kirk and Co. have been committing on the original Enterprise while their counterparts have been attempting to steer the evil universe away from planetary looting and domestic tooth and claw, because it turns out they've committed no havoc whatasoever, but have instead been dragged, almost immediately, kicking and screaming to the brig. Because of course they have. Because what's a utopia without checks and balances? That's how you really tell which timeline you're in: not by looking for goatees, but by seeing who's in prison, and who's walking around still allowed to be in charge.

 (A few more telly thoughts - I'm finding it hard to get into The Next Generation. I can't shake the sense that the ideals of the Federation have lapsed into snobbery. You shouldn't be able to ask of a Star Trek "Which character's the curious one?" They should all be curious. Unlike in The Original Series, the aliens of TNG aren't mysteries to be learnt from, but sleazy, third-world-coded fops, there to be taught a lesson. I did finally get into Community though, hard. But, like Rick and Morty not immediately, having to wait nearly a series for it to bloom from a hate-friendly Scrubs-without-stakes into a hate-friendly Muppet Babies-for-grownups, which is much more my thing.)