The Annotated "The Empire Strikes Bac" by Simon, aged 9

  Continuing this blog's Star Wars long weekend: One of the things I used to make as a child were unfinished pastiches of Mad Magazine. I'd write and illustrate parodies, articles and little Sergio-Aragonés-type doodles in the margin, just like Mad, but laid out in landscape, because I was using the gum of the notebook to hold the pages together, and that's how they opened. I had definitely read Mad's parody of The Empire Strikes Back (above) by the time I came to make my own. I'd also read the photobook, the behind-the-scenes book, and bought the action figures. I knew the names of the bounty hunters, and what "AT-AT" stood for. I'm just not sure I'd actually seen the film but anyway, knowing all good parodies subtly and hilariously change the name of the title, I began work on "The Empire Stikes Bac" without a "k" below. Exelanto!

 Pithy punchline from C.G.P.O. there. I wouldn't be aware of "Quee-er" as a gay slur until I saw Five Go Mad In Dorset a few years later. And I remember being shamefully aware of how little Pham Shmoelo looked like Harrison Ford, but also quite excited to have accidentally captured the likeness of Jack Lord from Hawaii 5-O. I am pretty merciless in my depiction of Mark Hamill's new nose...

 

 "Fab on" indeed! Frame seven of this page contains the first evidence of me knowing that rude body parts and functions are, in theory a staple of comedy, without actually knowing what any of them are called. I would later learn that an appendix is not rude. Barbara Woodhouse was of course a celebrity dog trainer at the time – television's always been turning out reality stars – but I might have spelt her name wrong. However there seems very little guesswork in the design of either the snow steed, the snow beast or the AT-AT, so I was probably using my own toys as models. I also notice. Nice foreground/background stuff in the frame with the spy droid by the way. Nice gag too. I'm also particularly proud of this next visual gag...

 Another cracking panel seven, politics of course also being a staple of comedy. Dusty Bin's there too, great. Giant nostrils, yep. Puke is in his vest and pants when he gets kicked off the ship because he was definitely wearing a vest on Dagobah in the photobook so I assumed he was doing PE. Which he sort of was. And I've clearly abandoned any hope of making Pham Shmoelo look like Harrison Ford now and am just doubling down on the Jack Lord thing.  Panel two of the next page features another botched bodily function joke: Is Puke farting, sneezing, burping, shitting? No idea...

 "You nerdy jerk!" "Baboons' pants"! What filth was I reading? And why is "a matron" asking for money for seats. Do I mean "usher"? I know jobs have names, again I'm just not quite sure what any of them are. "Your Tallness" is a valid honorific though, and knowing how unpublishable my drawings of Short Round from the The Temple of Doom were, I'm hugely relieved to see how handsome I've made Landoff...

The light sabres here were drawn with a rubber. Now Vader carbon-freezing Solo just to test the kit, was that an actual plot point from the film? Seems weird. There's a little misunderstanding here about who is being fined for not having a driving license, but nothing remotely comic. But I'm really filling these frames with research: Boba Fett, Slave One, Ughnauts. I don't know where I got "I must only use the Force for defense and thought" from, but I applaud the simplicity of itssentiment. It's a good mythos, isn't it, Star Wars, though I still maintain Leia doesn't get nearly enough to do in this one.  Oh, there's a little marginal Aragonés-type doodle coming up top left...

 

 "Michael Foot". Heh.